Exploring The Clothed Female/Naked Male Fetish

"Walk Nude, and people won't need to undress you with their eyes. "~ anonymous

This will be the first interview in an ongoing series exploring the various nuances, complexities, experiences, and tastes that make up the context of D/s exchanges, BDSM, fetishes and the desire for humiliation in various erotic scenarios.

In this first interview, I spoke with Jay, a 49 year old male who discusses his nearly life-long "clothed female naked male" (CFNM) fetish. CFNM is one of those fetishes that does not appear to have gone mainstream, as of yet. Many men who seek CFNM encounters seem to enjoy the experience of being naked, exposed and even somewhat vulnerable in front of a confident, domimant and clothed woman. Sometimes they are required to perform certain acts of servitude for the clothed female while they are naked, other times they may even be directed to do various tasks, some sexual in nature, some not. Other men appear to enjoy being forced into engaging in various degrees of humiliating acts while they are naked in front of the clothed female.

Jay recently has been bringing this form of erotic fantasy and humiliation into a more regular practice in his life. Jay placed on ad on Craig's List not long ago seeking a Mistress who might indulge him in this fetish. Though Craig's List, he met such a woman, and for the past couple of months, Jay and his Mistress have been engaging in various CFNM scenarios.

Throughout our interview, it becomes apparent that through exploring the CFNM fetish, Jay was able to reach a level of submission by being objectified by his the females in his life when he is placed in the more vulnerable position of presenting himself in the nude to women while she/they remain clothed, and essentially in complete control over Jay and his sexuality.

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Miz Ava: We were talking the other day about the ad you placed on Craig's List and the women you've met...you mentioned your current Mistress is somewhat younger than you?

Jay: (laughs) Right, I'm 49 she is 38....she answered an ad I placed about CFNM

Miz Ava: And you enjoy submitting to someone younger than you?

Jay: Yes I do, even though I'm older she treats me like I'm younger

Miz Ava: Which is a pretty fascinating dynamic

Jay: Very much so

Miz Ava: Have you had many other relationships where the woman was significantly younger?

Jay: A couple of years ago but that was more of a romantic situation, not like this

Miz Ava: So that was a more "traditional" relationship for you then?

Jay: Yes

Miz Ava: Have you been in situations similar to this current relationship...like, where you have been in a more overt submissive role?

Jay: Not for this long its usually "one and done"

Jay: She has control of me and she knows it

Miz Ava: So its usually a one time situation for you....until this time

Jay: Yes

Miz Ava: Tell me more about your desire to explore CFNM situations. When did you realize this was something that excited you?

Jay: A female friend told me about it a couple of years ago

Miz Ava: Do you remember how the topic was brought up?

Jay: Well actually this has some roots with me.... I never knew what I desired and enjoyed all these years was called "CFNM"

Miz Ava: I see...

Jay: We were talking about our childhoods and different things kids did

Miz Ava: Can you talk to be a little about where you think this stems from for you?

Jay: As we discussed things about when we were younger... I had two older sisters I was the yougest of three

Jay: And as they got older my parents trusted them, especially the older one, to baby sit me rather than to pay someone else

Jay: It started out with seemingly harmless things....they used to tickle me some but not much more... just my sides and feet and arm pits

Miz Ava: Ok

Jay: One day, my parents were going to a wedding and my sisters were going to watch over me all day and night

Miz Ava: Yes

Jay: I remember how it seemed like my sisters got excited to make sure I got my bath

Miz Ava: So they seemed to get excited over the idea of you taking your bath

Jay: Yes

Miz Ava: What was it they did or said that made you know they were excited about this?

Jay: Just from the way they talked about it

Miz Ava: Ok

Jay: I was so damn scared

Miz Ava: What scared you?

Jay: Well first off, I was outnumbered and they were the opposite sex

Miz Ava: Right

Jay: So they got their orders from my parents and I was told to make sure I listen to them

Miz Ava: Sure and you knew that essentially your well being was in their hands

Jay: Yes

Miz Ava: So they had that leverage over you too

Jay: Yes, so after that my day proceeded as normal I went over a neighbors house to play

Jay: It got to be about 5 pm, and my friends neighbor said my sister called and was coming to get me

Miz Ava: Yes..

Jay: I had forgotten about my sisters babysitting me

Miz Ava: Ah, ok

Jay: I began to think and got scared

Miz Ava: And then what happened?

Jay: I went home they had dinner ready and as we had dessert, the oldest told me to take my bath after dinner. They did not want me to get it too late

Miz Ava: Of course

Jay: After dinner, I put on the tv and my one sister went upstairs and I heard the water running
Miz Ava: Yes, go on...

Jay: Soon, the other sister said, "ok lets go"

Jay: In my head I thought, what is going on here? Why are they both helping me?

Miz Ava: Did you not expect them to?

Jay: I figured one of them would

Miz Ava: I see...it struck you as odd that both would be involved in bath time

Jay: So I walked upstairs with my sister behind me...and went to my room which is down the hall from the bathroom

Jay: Neither followed me into my room, but eventually one came back to tell me to hurry up because she needed my clothes to wash

Jay: So I had my tshirt and undies left on and I asked her, should I just drop them right here? And she said "yes"

Miz Ava: Had you ever been nude in front of either of them like that before?

Jay: In a casual way but my parents were always in the house before

Miz Ava: Ok

Jay: So I was nude and she glanced over and said go getinto your bath as she picked up my clothes. I hurried down the hall and entered the bathroom, but my other sister was not there

Jay: I felt relieved and I closed the door and got in the tub

Jay:I began to wash and for a moment my fears left me. But I heard the door creak open and they were both outside asking if i was ok

Jay: I told them yes, I was. Then the oldest sister walked in and said my mom wanted her to check to make sure I had washed my hair

Jay :I told her I was fine but she proceeded to reach for the shampoo

Jay: She sat on the tub and watched as I finished washing up and she began to wet my head and wash my hair. Of course I closed my eyes, so I never knew if she was looking at me

Miz Ava: But you probably sensed she was

Jay: Yes

Jay: That was the beginning of it. After that, it seemed like there were somehow situations where I often was naked in front of one or both of them

Miz Ava: And so this memory of you being exposed in front of them seems to have planted the seed for your adult fantasies?

Jay: I think so, since I was convinced that they enjoyed seeing me naked

Miz Ava: Interesting....its as if knowing of their enjoyment contributed to yours as well on some levels

Jay: Yes

Miz Ava: Did you ever feel humiliated at all by any of this?

Jay: At the very beginning, yes

Miz Ava: But then something shifted....and you began to associate a kind of pleasure with being naked or on display in front of clothed females

Jay: Yes, that's right

Miz Ava: Besides the current one, would you characterize any of your adult relationships as ones where you were knowingly submissive to your partner?

Jay:A few times I experienced that with my former wife

Miz Ava: Can you explain that a bit?

Jay: She knew how much I loved her and enjoyed her sexual advancements toward me

Miz Ava: So you preferred her to take a more dominating role in terms of your sexual relationship?

Jay: Oh yes

Miz Ava: And she was comfortable with this?

Jay: I think so. For example, she told me how she loved to perform oral sex, but she didn't enjoy my pubic hairs getting into her mouth and she asked me if it was ok to trim my pubic hair or consider becoming smooth for her. I told her it was not a problem so we made a date after work and she shaved me bald.

Jay: We both loved it

Miz Ava: And you felt this was an act of submission toward her?

Jay: I did because I had never even trimmed down there let alone shave it all off

Miz Ava: Right, that was a big step for you!

Jay: Yes but she made it easy and I have to admit I liked it because she liked it so much

Miz Ava: Of course...and it wasn't as though you were forced into this

Jay: Right

Miz Ava: And she was encouraging, which helps

Jay: Yes, and sometimes she would order to me to do things like remove my bath towel in front of her or she'd lie on the bed bed and look under the covers at me naked

Miz Ava: Was she clothed when she would do those things to you?

Jay: Yes. Then, it was about a month or so after that when she brought up the idea of bondage

Miz Ava: Interesting

Jay: I thought so

Miz Ava: So what happened from there?

Jay: She would use my ties to tie me up and leave me lying spread eagle and she'd just tease me

Miz Ava: And how did that go?

Jay: It was nice but also frustrating. She enjoyed bringing me to the brink and stopping and starting over and doing it all again

Miz Ava: So she would control your orgasm

Jay: Yes

Miz Ava: Did she ever deny you outright?

Jay: No, but sometimes I thought she was going to

Miz Ava: And that's the exciting (though agonizing) part...not knowing what she might do and just surrendering your will like that

Jay: Yes and eventually I became ok with it, and succomed to her desire to get my penis fully erect and leaking and then she'd just go away and leave me like that

Miz Ava: Sounds like some serious teasing. Were there other ways she dominated you?

Jay: At family affairs she would bring it up our sex life to her siblings. She even had me show her sister my shaved cock and balls

Miz Ava: Wow. And so you were then displayed in front of her sister

Jay: Yes

Miz Ava: Was that humiliating for you?

Jay: Well it was obvious they wanted to see my penis

Miz Ava: So would you say you felt objectified?

Jay: Yes, but I did like this more as time went on

Miz Ava: So it excited you just the same

Jay: When I was naked in front of my wife, all it would take was for her to just talk to me and without any physcial contact I'd get an erection

Miz Ava: What would she say to you?

Jay: How great I looked... and asking me whether my erection bothered me

Jay: She enjoyed me getting arosued with out any contact. Sometimes she would tell me to go our bedroom and wait for her. When she'd come upstairs, she'd tell me to undress. She would stay dressed and would sit down and talk to me and play with my cock during this time.

Miz Ava: So how long were you married to your ex wife?

Jay: 22 years

Miz Ava: Wow, that's quite a long time! Can I ask why the relationship ended?

Jay: She began cheating on me with her boss

Miz Ava: Oh, ok

Jay: Toward the end we had not had sex for a while

Miz Ava: I understand

Miz Ava: So by the time your marriage ended, you had actually expereinced CFNM scenarios quite a bit

Jay: Yes, that's right

Miz Ava: Did you consciously think of what you were doing as an act of submission?

Jay: No, but I realized I like to be controlled by women who enjoy doing this

Miz Ava: I see. Now today, you would recognize that these are submissive tendencies that you have?

Jay: Oh yes. But now I succumb to them.

Miz Ava: Yes, you have become comfortable in your submission

Jay: Very much so

Miz Ava: Why do you think it fits you so well?

Jay: I enjoy pleasing women that enjoy having their way with me. My current mistress has talked about sharing me.

Miz Ava: And you've had what seems to be a lifelong history of being in situations where women have objectified you and this has brought you a lot of pleasure

Jay: Yes, this does

Miz Ava: So you've associated your submission with something pleasurable, erotic even

Jay: Yes, exactly

Miz Ava: Now the younger lady you are currently seeing---when you got together with her, was it established right away that you were in a Mistress/Submissive relationship?

Jay: Yes I put an ad on Craig's List for a CFNM relationship, not for a girlfriend

Miz Ava: Right

Miz Ava: And she responded with the intent of becoming your Mistress

Jay: Yes. At the beginning she liked the fact I could be around her while I was nude and she did not owe me anything or have any sexual obligtaion toward me.

Jay: She told me she liked looking at naked men

Miz Ava: Has she been naked in front of you?

Jay: Not fully yet

Jay: I've given her back massages, nothing else

Miz Ava: And you've been seeing her for how long?

Jay: 6 weeks

Miz Ava: Yes, ok

Jay: I've washed and made love to her feet

Miz Ava: Nice

Jay: Yes, she shows her appreciation

Miz Ava: And she has mentioned sharing you at some point?

Jay: She has, yes

Miz Ava: And how do you feel about this?

Jay: Its fine. She has a close friend of who is over weight and had not been with a guy for some time

Miz Ava: And what would your role be in that?

Jay: To do whatever she asks me to do

Miz Ava: I see

Miz Ava: What do you think makes a good submissive? What are some important traits?

Jay: You must be a good listener and be able to take orders as specified by others

Jay: For me I enjoy being a sub to the female gender

Miz Ava: Yes, you clearly have some strong feelings tied in with female superiority

Jay: Yes and I'm fine with it

Miz Ava: And there is nothing wrong with that!

Jay: Thank you.

Miz Ava: Wow, you've shared so much with me! This has been just great. Thank you.

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And for the record, to be true to his fetish, Jay did offer to expose himself and masturbate on his webcam for me toward the conclusion of our interview. I explained to him that this is not something acceptable for an informal occasion such as these interviews, but this is something that many clients of Phone Humiliation enjoy doing for Mistresses during their sessions.